Book Review: Twilight Part Two

Well, this isn't going to be long. I got most of the ranting out of my system during my review of the first half of Twilight. Sadly enough, finishing it was just as nauseating an experience as starting it was.

I was relieved though, that at least I was surprised a couple times. At least one character hated Bella and the villains were actually pretty smart (I love it when villains have ingeneous moments). Otherwise, pretty cliche, and the whole prom scene bugged me.

Once again, I just didn't like Twilight very much. Still, it wasn't too bad and I am excited for the movie (I love Robert Patterson). Hopefully, it'll be much better, because I'd hate having to see such a hot actor in a movie flop. I'm also getting into another book of Stephanie Meyer's, called the Host. It's pretty interesting, and I'll come back with a review for it.

Book Review: Twilight Part One

Ok, so yeah, I've just started reading that one book everyone seems so hyped up on. Twilight.

Fangirls, if anybody but my friend M.S. actually reads this sad waste of time on the internet, feel free to hate me. This is my honest to good opinion, so if I end up a target of your protective banshee wrath, than fine. Bring it! I'll die a martyr to the cause.

I have a couple things to say about Twilight. Most importantly, Number One:


I HATE Edward!

Oh my God, I hate him so much. After about three chapters, I started putting together a list of the things I hate about him.

• He's bipolar


• He's pushy


• He's out-of-date


• He's a stalker


• He's got freaking copper hair
  
• He's gorgeous. I do not like gorgeous and somewhat muscular males. I like feminine or geeky ones.


• He's a vampire. I hate vampires.


• He's overprotective


• He's condescending

I could keep going, but why should I waste my time? There are more things not Edward-centric I can bash. Like Bella for example. I write a lot fanfiction. Not much of it good. Most of it including an OC character. So I know when and how to spot a Mary Sue when I see one. Not familiar with what that term means? Well, let me enlighten you.

An original and overly perfect character created by the writer and often acting as their alter-egos. They often end up bedding other characters or acting as matchmakers for the intended ship. -Passion and Perfection: Definitions, http://www.ralst.com/Definitions.html

An original female character embodying a set of stereotypical perfections who is inserted arbitrarily into a fan universe where she becomes the focus of everyone's love, admiration and interest. Wise, understanding, talented, mysterious, sexual, enchanting, you name it. -Aestheticism Articles: FanTerms Update, http://www.aestheticism.com/visitors/reference/fanterms/index.htm

Bella, under the guise of a clumsy, hopeless heroine, is infact a devious Mary Sue bent on winning the hearts and sympathy of every teenage girl (and possibly middle-aged woman) who has felt any similarity between herself and this fictional character that she is unique from your run-of-the-mill heroine. Oh, I felt the same too, at the beginning. But I snapped out of it real fast. She fits the bill perfectly.

Even though she thinks she's ordinary, she's got an "alluring", witty, independent personality. She thinks she's plain, yet almost every boy in her new highschool has practically thrown themselves at her, and are pretty much clawing at each other for her attention. Of course, she has to set her eye on the best looking out of the bunch, who just happens to be mysterious and sexy with a "crooked smile" and "smoldering eyes" who can't read her mind because she has a special ability. And of course, he happens to like her back. Whoop-dee-doo. We need a reality check.

Relationships between hot, good-guy vampires and ordinary, klutzy girls do not happen. They just don't. I could understand the thing with her and Jacob, I mean, there's history there. Family friends, easy conversation and not to mention she's older, a what boy turns down a chance to date a cute girl older than he is? Still, even that relationship is pretty out of the woods for me.

Plus, Stephanie Meyer has got a freaking whacked out fixation with eyes. If she's not trying to convince us of Bella's so called imperfections, or Edward's hotness, she's constantly going on and on about his eyes. I don't know how many times I just had to sigh, stop reading and look heavenwards (as if I'd actually get an answer). I have to admit though, it's not utter crap. I've laughed a couple of times, and I haven't tried burning it yet, so it's obviously not that bad. I will perservere and finish what I've started. And hopefully get back to my Chemistry studies (I'm procrastinating).

Well, later. I'll be back with Part Two once I've completed the book. Unless I get a seizure in the middle of it. God forbid.