September's Other End

I don't know what to say.

Going back to school, back to what has been home for two years now, and yet... That's not how it feels anymore. It's like, I don't belong anymore. I walk those halls, and all I think about is how, I should be there. Like I should be somewhere else. That's the problem. I know where I want to be. But I can't be there.

I can't go home yet.

Back to school, back to a different/familiar routine, back to the din of awful bells. Back to the people who have things more important than love, friendship and family to worry about. To work, stress, sleepless night. The perpetual feeling that everything is a test. I'm a student and it's my job to file back in with the rest of this cities teenage population. I'm back to no longer being an individual. Being nothing special.

There's no expression in the way I smile, because the only real smile I know is when there is nothing on my shoulder pulling the corners of my lips down. My dance is mournful now, when not long ago it was cheerful, so full of life and compassion and dreams. I have my dreams, the help me remember what it was like to see them so vividly painted in greens, and blues, and yellows, and browns.

I want my summer back.

I want home, I want security, I want no responsibilities.

But I can't always get what I want. So I must wait. Wait out another school year.

Again.