It Hurts and It's Only Been a Day

Every summer since I was 13 I've been spending my summers at in a Community Service program. At the end of each summer, I feel as though something in me has become stronger, younger and more defined. I meet new people and make friendships that inspire something in me I never thought was possible. There have been times when my faith in friends and in strangers has been shaken so badly, I never thought I'd be able to fully put my trust in others again. Each time, this yearly experience has taught me there is always an incredible person out there, who can't wait to meet you. You just have to give it a chance, and find out later if it was worth it.


Just yesterday at four in the morning I had to part ways with them. It felt like someone had just ripped a hole open in my chest. There were frayed sinews and my lungs were having a hard time keeping me breathing. The minute I got off that bus I grabbed the person closest to me and hugged them as if the world were about to end. To me, that's what it felt like. That a world was ending. My time for goodbyes was incredibly limited, so I found as many of my friends as I could and hugged them.

As my parents drove my brother and me home, the pain really set in. My eyes, which had been fairly moist to begin with started dripping large, salty tears. Some of them I would see plenty of in the weeks and months to follow. Most I would not see much of at all. And a few, well, I'm not sure I'll ever see them again. Thinking about that, I sobbed as I crawled into bed and tried to sleep. It's amazing that I managed to find it that easily. I thought I'd have tormented dreams, but instead I had pleasant ones that seemed to just play back all the good times together with them.

They are my friends and more. They are my family. It's taken me years to finally realize just how deeply I feel that bond between myself and them. Every year I gain a little and lose a little. Now, that feeling is stronger. As much as it hurts, it lets me know just how happy I was to meet them, to know them, to talk with them, to laugh with them, and to spend the hot summer days together, with them.

I hope that wherever they are, and wherever they go, that they know how much I love them. That there is a matching impression on their hearts and in their mind made by me, just as they have made for me.

YSC 2008 Forever, Don't Stop Believin'

CLC