Asthma and Some Rather Disconcerting Thoughts

Well, you can probably tell from the title that I'm not exactly very happy right now.

I found out yesterday I have asthma. Fortunately, or not, it's a mild case. It's like having a constant cough except worse. My parents, for the longest time just ignored the signs. They figured I was just keeping myself sick because of my own lack of care for my health. Truthfully, I thought they were right too. But, no. I really do have it. The only reason I got myself checked out was to humor my tutor, who was concerned. She was right, but no one's laughing.

Asthma aside, I have other fish to fry. I don't know how to break it to my mom that I don't have an A in math anymore. It's not that she's one of the super asian moms whose like "B+?! B+?! You bring shame to our family!" More like a "We're paying fucking $200 a month for a tutor and all you get is a B?!"

Math isn't the only place an A has fallen though. We've got French and English to look at as well. The only classes that I'm getting strong As in are easy classes that my mom overlooks. She doesn't even stop to think that maybe I'm not interested in overachieving. I'm satisfied with a B average. It's better than a whole lot of other students can claim. Not to mention the fact the half my classes are advanced classes.

I've also been putting some thought into my past relationships. Whenever I stay close, and there's good enough closure, I can easily let go and move on. It doesn't work so easy when I don't see a person for forever. What happens is that I stay stuck in this land of crushing and infatuation. And it takes a really long time to get rid of it. Like, years. Recently, someone I really cared for decided to move away, and our realtionship was put into a weird funk. Now, he's moved on and I'm left here still pining for him.

It's really disgusting. I'm like this love sick animal looking for anything from him. He's just about forgotten me and I'm still clinging to this hope we'll be together later on. And it's not going to go away any time soon.I wish I could live without the need to find someone to care about romantically. I love my friends enough, why can't I just be content to have them? Why do I have to put myself through so much useless drama? I just don't know.